A kid first

Dear Friends

Could you please remember that our allergy kid is in fact a kid.  A young person with feelings, who wants to fit in with the crowd, have friends, hang out, do things, play sport, dance, go to birthday parties - you know, just the same as other kids.

Chatting to a friend on the phone

It tears our hearts in two when we discover yet again that her so called friends have not invited her to their parties.  We have to pick up the pieces.  She is used to it now, but it still hurts.

I know that some of you might not be able to see past the allergies.  Yes, it has been proven, she could die if she eats a nut or something with dairy in it, or an egg.  But she is sensible - she wont eat if she doesn't know what is in it.  And she carries an emergency kit, and she knows when to use it.  She is very aware of her body and knows when something is wrong.

We have spent most of the last 7 years educating her.  Teaching her that the world is not a safe place for her.   We have come home from extended days out with a child who has eaten next to nothing because there was nothing she could eat.  We will eat in front of her in these situations whilst she drinks a lemonade because she has to know that that is how it is for her.

It sucks.  Oh yes, it sucks.  But it is real life.  It is her life.

She is 9.  She understands.

Swings and roundabouts

She is the kid who had to eat the last bit of left over camp food on the way home from our camping  trip whilst we stopped and ate Subway (There was no McDonald's in that town).  I am the McDonald's hating parent who now knows where all the McD's are on our trips down south to see family.  Because Emma can eat there.  It is safe.


Just for one minute, can you please try and put yourself in her shoes.  To watch everyone else take part fully and to wish it were you.  I live with this every day and I cant imagine what it must be like for her.  At home, 90% of the foods we consume are safe for her.  But when we eat that other 10% my heart breaks for what she is missing out on.


Can you imagine how it must feel when you are the only kid from a group of "friends" who isn't invited? I know pre-teen girls can be nasty, and not inviting someone to a party is the ultimate way to be mean.  But why do we have to put up with that?

As adults we should be embracing situations which can teach our children how to love each other, not helping them put up barriers to keep those that are different on the outside.

And really, she is no different from your child.  For the most she does the exact same things.  She goes to school, she plays netball, she does dance, she takes music lessons, she has a family who want the best for her, who love her unconditionally.

And we teach her that it is okay to have things that are different from others.  That we were not all meant to be the same.  It is okay to be different, but it is not okay to judge people because of their differences.

To those of you who make the extra effort to make her feel part of things, who invite her to parties, who make food that is safe for her and those who keep snacks on hand that she can eat, you make our day as well as hers.  We really appreciate you.

But to those of you who are scared by her allergies, could you talk to us about it instead of just leaving her out.  Usually she will be able to do whatever it is you are doing. And if eating is happening, then we can advise what she can eat or provide a safe similar food.

It would really make a difference if you could treat her the same as any other kid.

Remember. Kid First.

Barbs x.