Life as the parent of an allergy kid is tough.
Whenever she is not with me I worry. Not just normal parenting worry that I have with the other 2, but a real gut wrenching worry.
Last friday I got a missed call on my cell phone from her school. I went into instant panic mode, replaying scenarios in my head and trying to figure out how to respond before I called them back. There was a picture in my mind of her all puffy and wheezy and the office staff not knowing what to do. Of course it was nothing really, just a confusion as she had had water polo training before school. She was fine.
Saturday was one of the local school fairs and little sister was dancing on the stage. Emma just wanted to hang out with her friends. Lots of new friends this year. She is at Intermediate. Kids that dont know her history, one old friend with her who does. She comes up to me and says she wants to pop down to town with her friends. She has her bag with her and she knows her rules. I let her go with them for one whole hour, not knowing whether she will keep herself safe or not. The only rule was to stay with the old friend the whole time. The old friends Dad collected her and took her home. She was fine. I felt like I couldn't breathe for the whole time she was doing her own thing.
Today I sent her and her younger sister off on a run - big sister looking after little sister and helping her train for the triathlon. Little sister was streets ahead. Where was the allergy kid? Lying on the pavement having an allergic reaction? And no-one noticing? There is this new theory about exercise induced anaphylaxis, could this be what she was having? And hang on a minute it was only 1/2 an hour ago that she ate - O.M.G... Hang on, her emergency kit is in the car. So should I run back to the car and drive around the block? Should I get little sister with boundless energy to run around the block again to look for her? What should I do? And then she walks around the corner, holding her side - Stitch - too much afternoon tea.... All my panic for nothing, again.
I thought being the parent of an allergy kid was hard before. When she was little I could control everything. The teachers knew her well, as did the office staff and the principal. I knew the parents of her friends. That has all changed now. Her teacher knows her, but not the office staff. And that is despite me going in and introducing her to them at the start of the term.
She now wants to go to the park and to peoples houses who I dont know and it is tearing my heart in two. I dont want to stop her being a kid and I certainly dont want to stop her making new friends but I want to keep her safe.
It is time to let her take some control over her life and learn to make choices - both right and wrong. And I have to hope that all the work we have put in over the last 11 1/2 years will make her choose the correct options.
I have to trust her to keep herself safe.
The trouble is a really wrong choice could kill her.
So maybe for the rest of my life, I will be on tender hooks.
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Monday, 24 March 2014
Tuesday, 30 April 2013
It's so much harder with allergies
"It's so much harder with allergies"
That's what my 12 year old son said this morning.
I was preparing them to go to the movies by themselves whilst I popped into work for a couple of hours (just a couple of minutes walk from the theatre).
They packed snack packs to eat and took water bottles. I asked Dan if he knew what to do in case Emma had a reaction. He got a real concerned look on his face. I know the chances of her having a reaction were minimal, the food I packed was all safe for her, but you can never be 100% sure that there hasn't been a slight cross contamination somewhere. You can never guarantee that people next to you aren't eating choc-nut icecreams (double bad for Emma) or just munching away on nuts. I know the risk of anaphylaxis to this kind of exposure is minimal, but there is always a chance. You can never be 100% sure of her safety, never.
I went through the emergency process with him. If she complains she cant breathe get her out of the theatre at once, give her the inhaler, lie her down, call me, check for hives and swelling, give the anapen if needed, get someone to call an ambulance. He went through how to give her the anapen.
After his initial shock at maybe having to deal with an allergic reaction, I was amazed at how much he actually knew.
Emma was really frightened at the thought of having a reaction when I wasn't there and offered not to eat during the movie! She did have some biscuits (least risk) in the end, but saved her crackers and lollies until I picked them up. And she didn't have a reaction.
But it brings it home, the constant worry of having a reaction.
Something as simple as a trip to the movies turns into something so much more.
12 year old's know things that most kids their age don't even have to think about. But they are growing up. They are cutting those apron strings. They want to do things by themselves like their friends do.
And it is so much harder with allergies...
Thanks for Reading
Barbs x.
Thanks for Reading
Barbs x.
Monday, 4 February 2013
Shocking News
I just cant believe this has happened
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10863345
A young girl has died from Anaphylaxis to a bee sting. D.I.E.D.
She had a known allergy.
I dont know if they gave her an epipen or anapen.
I dont know how long it took for the ambulance to arrive.
I know she has a family who are in absolute shock, that something as small as a bee could kill their child.
It is a real eye opener to just what life threatening allergy actually means. Life Threatening means you can DIE from an allergic reaction.
Life threatening means that there are no guarantees that medical intervention will save your life.
It is hard to believe that in this day and age, with all our knowledge, something like this can still happen.
Adrenaline, in the form of an anapen or epipen, buys you time until the ambulance comes. I'm not sure how long before it starts to wear off, someone said it was 20 minutes. So I guess if you only have one pen and the ambulance takes longer than that to come, you might get into the danger zone.
But once the ambulance comes and you go to hospital, you kind of feel safer. They have everything you need to save you, dont they? They have more adrenaline, they have oxygen, they have other drugs they inject into you via iv line. How can the outcome be so very bad?
This is a real wake-up call for all us allergy parents and allergy sufferers out there.
Allergies can kill.
And no matter how prepared you are, the worst case scenario can happen.
We dont want to wrap our allergy kids in cotton wool. But we dont want them to die.
I cant imagine what her family is going through. It is so hard to believe.
I am certainly feeling a little tender around the edges right now. Hoping and hoping that this never happens to my beautiful allergy kid.
Barbs x.
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10863345
A young girl has died from Anaphylaxis to a bee sting. D.I.E.D.
She had a known allergy.
I dont know if they gave her an epipen or anapen.
I dont know how long it took for the ambulance to arrive.
I know she has a family who are in absolute shock, that something as small as a bee could kill their child.
It is a real eye opener to just what life threatening allergy actually means. Life Threatening means you can DIE from an allergic reaction.
Life threatening means that there are no guarantees that medical intervention will save your life.
It is hard to believe that in this day and age, with all our knowledge, something like this can still happen.
Adrenaline, in the form of an anapen or epipen, buys you time until the ambulance comes. I'm not sure how long before it starts to wear off, someone said it was 20 minutes. So I guess if you only have one pen and the ambulance takes longer than that to come, you might get into the danger zone.
But once the ambulance comes and you go to hospital, you kind of feel safer. They have everything you need to save you, dont they? They have more adrenaline, they have oxygen, they have other drugs they inject into you via iv line. How can the outcome be so very bad?
This is a real wake-up call for all us allergy parents and allergy sufferers out there.
Allergies can kill.
And no matter how prepared you are, the worst case scenario can happen.
We dont want to wrap our allergy kids in cotton wool. But we dont want them to die.
I cant imagine what her family is going through. It is so hard to believe.
I am certainly feeling a little tender around the edges right now. Hoping and hoping that this never happens to my beautiful allergy kid.
Barbs x.
Tuesday, 17 July 2012
My Junior Master Chef's
We are definitely a foodie family and love watching cooking programs on the telly.
Emma has told me, when she grows up, she wants to have a cooking program on the tv just like Jamie Oliver, but for people with allergies.
On the first Monday of the holidays I asked the kids to choose two meals each that they would like to have for dinner that week. They were excited and out came the favourites and some that we hadn't had for ages. Here is the menu they created.
Monday - Bacon & Egg Pie (Big Boy)
Tuesday - Schnitzel with vegies (Emma)
Wednesday - Macaroni Cheese (Bear)
Thursday - Chicken Curry (Hubby)
Friday - Minestrone (Emma)
Saturday - Burgers (Big Boy)
Sunday - Roast Chicken (Bear)
"Guess what?" I said to the kids "Not only did you get to choose what we will eat, you are gonna cook it too!"
They have been loving watching Junior MasterChef. The kids on it are amazing and they are the same age as my kids and they can turn out gourmet meals. This inspired me to get my kids into the kitchen and to let them go for it. Just like on the the show, we judged each of the meals on taste and presentation.
They were so excited and relished being in charge of the kitchen. Giving up control to the kids is really hard. Some of the meals they chose weren't safe for Emma so they had to make her something special that would make her happy. I think the big boy now has a bigger appreciation for her allergies and why we dont eat things that she cant very often.
Emma has told me, when she grows up, she wants to have a cooking program on the tv just like Jamie Oliver, but for people with allergies.
On the first Monday of the holidays I asked the kids to choose two meals each that they would like to have for dinner that week. They were excited and out came the favourites and some that we hadn't had for ages. Here is the menu they created.
Monday - Bacon & Egg Pie (Big Boy)
Tuesday - Schnitzel with vegies (Emma)
Wednesday - Macaroni Cheese (Bear)
Thursday - Chicken Curry (Hubby)
Friday - Minestrone (Emma)
Saturday - Burgers (Big Boy)
Sunday - Roast Chicken (Bear)
"Guess what?" I said to the kids "Not only did you get to choose what we will eat, you are gonna cook it too!"
They have been loving watching Junior MasterChef. The kids on it are amazing and they are the same age as my kids and they can turn out gourmet meals. This inspired me to get my kids into the kitchen and to let them go for it. Just like on the the show, we judged each of the meals on taste and presentation.
They were so excited and relished being in charge of the kitchen. Giving up control to the kids is really hard. Some of the meals they chose weren't safe for Emma so they had to make her something special that would make her happy. I think the big boy now has a bigger appreciation for her allergies and why we dont eat things that she cant very often.
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| The big boy did all his meals completely by himself |
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| Emma's snazzy schnitzel Yep you do see right, there are brussel sprouts on the plate Yep she chose them, she always does They're one of her favourite veggies We call them baby cabbages |
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| Bear's creative plate of Emma's cheeseless Macaroni Cheese |
The next week we did it again, this time we added in a couple of desserts
Monday - Mexican Mince (Bear)
Tuesday - Pumpkin Soup with foccaicia bread (Big Boy)
Wednesday - Sushi, followed by fudge cake with raspberry coulis (Emma)
Thursday - Beef Olives (Emma was not impressed as they didn't have any olives in them!) (Me)
Friday - Chicken Pies, followed by Bear's microwave pudding (Bear)
Saturday - Baked potatoes (Emma)
Sunday - Lasagne, followed by Pavlova (with cupcakes for Emma instead) (Big Boy)
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| Emma's Fantastic fudge cake |
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| Cupcakes trying to look like pavlova |
My big boy spent almost all of sunday afternoon in the kitchen, making pavlova, then cupcakes, then lasagne. He had to be so very careful to avoid cross contamination and he did an absolutely amazing job and it all tasted very yummy.
They were so careful with their plating up and really thought about what would go well with each dish. When it came to the desserts, they totally wowed us with melted chocolate decorations and little extra touches, like Emma serving Raspberry coulis with her cake.
I was blown away by how clever my kids are at cooking.
And now, even though they are back to school, we are going to continue having kids cooking nights. And we are being more varied with the menu planning to make sure we keep getting a whole range of different meals to broaden their taste and make them try new foods.
I'm looking forward to trying their next efforts this week.
Barbs x.
Sunday, 17 June 2012
Loving my girls
This weekend is girls only in our house. Hubby and the big boy have gone to visit Gran in Raglan and have some father and son time (including test driving a new Range Rover Evoke - just incase we win lotto!).
Today we started off with our sunday baking. Bear made cupcakes, pretty much by herself - just a little help from mum and big sister.
Today we started off with our sunday baking. Bear made cupcakes, pretty much by herself - just a little help from mum and big sister.
Then a little later we all did some decorating
And Junior Masterchef Emma chose to make afghans, getting her hands in and doing it all by herself
We also took the dog to our beautiful beach and again I feel so very lucky to chosen this amazing place to live
And then to see the girls playing cards by themselves was just so cool. It is so neat to see them growing up.
I really am so very very lucky to call these two mine.
Barbs x.
Thursday, 3 May 2012
A kid first
Dear Friends
Could you please remember that our allergy kid is in fact a kid. A young person with feelings, who wants to fit in with the crowd, have friends, hang out, do things, play sport, dance, go to birthday parties - you know, just the same as other kids.
It tears our hearts in two when we discover yet again that her so called friends have not invited her to their parties. We have to pick up the pieces. She is used to it now, but it still hurts.
I know that some of you might not be able to see past the allergies. Yes, it has been proven, she could die if she eats a nut or something with dairy in it, or an egg. But she is sensible - she wont eat if she doesn't know what is in it. And she carries an emergency kit, and she knows when to use it. She is very aware of her body and knows when something is wrong.
We have spent most of the last 7 years educating her. Teaching her that the world is not a safe place for her. We have come home from extended days out with a child who has eaten next to nothing because there was nothing she could eat. We will eat in front of her in these situations whilst she drinks a lemonade because she has to know that that is how it is for her.
It sucks. Oh yes, it sucks. But it is real life. It is her life.
She is 9. She understands.
She is the kid who had to eat the last bit of left over camp food on the way home from our camping trip whilst we stopped and ate Subway (There was no McDonald's in that town). I am the McDonald's hating parent who now knows where all the McD's are on our trips down south to see family. Because Emma can eat there. It is safe.
Just for one minute, can you please try and put yourself in her shoes. To watch everyone else take part fully and to wish it were you. I live with this every day and I cant imagine what it must be like for her. At home, 90% of the foods we consume are safe for her. But when we eat that other 10% my heart breaks for what she is missing out on.
Can you imagine how it must feel when you are the only kid from a group of "friends" who isn't invited? I know pre-teen girls can be nasty, and not inviting someone to a party is the ultimate way to be mean. But why do we have to put up with that?
As adults we should be embracing situations which can teach our children how to love each other, not helping them put up barriers to keep those that are different on the outside.
And really, she is no different from your child. For the most she does the exact same things. She goes to school, she plays netball, she does dance, she takes music lessons, she has a family who want the best for her, who love her unconditionally.
And we teach her that it is okay to have things that are different from others. That we were not all meant to be the same. It is okay to be different, but it is not okay to judge people because of their differences.
To those of you who make the extra effort to make her feel part of things, who invite her to parties, who make food that is safe for her and those who keep snacks on hand that she can eat, you make our day as well as hers. We really appreciate you.
But to those of you who are scared by her allergies, could you talk to us about it instead of just leaving her out. Usually she will be able to do whatever it is you are doing. And if eating is happening, then we can advise what she can eat or provide a safe similar food.
It would really make a difference if you could treat her the same as any other kid.
Remember. Kid First.
Barbs x.
Could you please remember that our allergy kid is in fact a kid. A young person with feelings, who wants to fit in with the crowd, have friends, hang out, do things, play sport, dance, go to birthday parties - you know, just the same as other kids.
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| Chatting to a friend on the phone |
It tears our hearts in two when we discover yet again that her so called friends have not invited her to their parties. We have to pick up the pieces. She is used to it now, but it still hurts.
I know that some of you might not be able to see past the allergies. Yes, it has been proven, she could die if she eats a nut or something with dairy in it, or an egg. But she is sensible - she wont eat if she doesn't know what is in it. And she carries an emergency kit, and she knows when to use it. She is very aware of her body and knows when something is wrong.
 |
It sucks. Oh yes, it sucks. But it is real life. It is her life.
She is 9. She understands.
 |
| Swings and roundabouts |
She is the kid who had to eat the last bit of left over camp food on the way home from our camping trip whilst we stopped and ate Subway (There was no McDonald's in that town). I am the McDonald's hating parent who now knows where all the McD's are on our trips down south to see family. Because Emma can eat there. It is safe.
Just for one minute, can you please try and put yourself in her shoes. To watch everyone else take part fully and to wish it were you. I live with this every day and I cant imagine what it must be like for her. At home, 90% of the foods we consume are safe for her. But when we eat that other 10% my heart breaks for what she is missing out on.
Can you imagine how it must feel when you are the only kid from a group of "friends" who isn't invited? I know pre-teen girls can be nasty, and not inviting someone to a party is the ultimate way to be mean. But why do we have to put up with that?
As adults we should be embracing situations which can teach our children how to love each other, not helping them put up barriers to keep those that are different on the outside.
And really, she is no different from your child. For the most she does the exact same things. She goes to school, she plays netball, she does dance, she takes music lessons, she has a family who want the best for her, who love her unconditionally.
 |
To those of you who make the extra effort to make her feel part of things, who invite her to parties, who make food that is safe for her and those who keep snacks on hand that she can eat, you make our day as well as hers. We really appreciate you.
But to those of you who are scared by her allergies, could you talk to us about it instead of just leaving her out. Usually she will be able to do whatever it is you are doing. And if eating is happening, then we can advise what she can eat or provide a safe similar food.
It would really make a difference if you could treat her the same as any other kid.
Remember. Kid First.
Barbs x.
Friday, 13 January 2012
Loving the year so far
We are probably the only family in town who has been loving the weather lately. Why would anyone love Auckland's wet, windy unpredictable weather I hear you ask? Well quite simply because with two sick and grumpy kids and the other one with a broken arm, sitting indoors watching movies and tv, having computer time, a bit of craft and playing games was going to be the routine anyway and we didn't have to feel sorry for ourselves being cooped up all day cause the weather was rubbish!!!!!!
What about this cute dog? What's not to love
And also finding these stashed behind boxes in the garage - I had given them up for lost, given away or thrown out but oh the excitement of seeing them again. Our record collection, a real nostalgic look back at the eighties, and this is but a few faves...
Also Loving that this week, the sick two have felt better. Bear had a wonderful catch up with her bestie and the girls all enjoyed making cupcakes together, then decorating them and of course we all enjoyed eating them.
Loving a night out just with the girls. What better way to spend a fun night than Fish and chips on the beach and then a quick play at one of our stunning playgrounds with the best views ever.
Yep, it hasn't been the healthy, energetic start to the year that I had hoped for, but there was a lot to love in there anyway.
Linking up with Paisley Jade
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What about this cute dog? What's not to love
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| Oh to be this relaxed! |
And also finding these stashed behind boxes in the garage - I had given them up for lost, given away or thrown out but oh the excitement of seeing them again. Our record collection, a real nostalgic look back at the eighties, and this is but a few faves...
 |
Also Loving that this week, the sick two have felt better. Bear had a wonderful catch up with her bestie and the girls all enjoyed making cupcakes together, then decorating them and of course we all enjoyed eating them.
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| The girls concentrating on their designs |
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| Love Emma's smiley face cupcake. |
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| Broken arms can't stop you baking. |
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| YUM! |
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| Loving friendly strangers who offer to take a photo of all of you |
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| A few other friends dropped by |
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| Feeding the gulls |
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| Enjoying the view on the swing |
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| Circus girl 1 |
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| Circus girl 2 |
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| How high can I go? |
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| A little surf dancing before we go |
Yep, it hasn't been the healthy, energetic start to the year that I had hoped for, but there was a lot to love in there anyway.
Linking up with Paisley Jade
Sunday, 2 October 2011
I'm back
It's been a busy few weeks. I have been busy training to be a waterwise instructor and passed my exam yesterday. Waterwise is a neat program run by the schools around here to teach kids water confidence and how to sail. Now I'm a total novice on yachts, but have always wanted to learn to sail so I seized the opportunity to learn something new, and to help teach kids, which is something I am really passionate about.
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| Our new oven |
Emma has finished a wonderful season of Netball. She was one of the top goal scorers for her team this year and her team finished in the middle of the table.
September was definitely the month of "Party Rock Anthem". My kids could be seen breaking into dance regularly. It all stemmed from a year 5 item assembly item at school that Bear's class helped with and the girls just loved it, even breaking out into dance in a public place - Gotta love that
Our new puppy is getting bigger and cuter. Everyone is in love with him, even Emma who was so unsure at the begining, and even though he chews everything in sight - Check out his blanket.
And finally, I couldnt mention September without mentioning the Rugby World Cup. We took the kids to the Australia Italy game at North Harbour Stadium and became Italian's for the afternoon. Hubby and Dan took Gran and Uncle Buncle to the Ireland Russia game in Rotorua and the TV has been glued to Sky Sports at every available point and it has been awesome to see so many cool games. PS I dont really get into Rugby usually, but am married to a sports fanatic so have had to adjust and have surprised myself that I have actually enjoyed them.
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